A few days ago I came across a video of a person walking through a neighborhood that has become a symbolic “Ground Zero” for the fentanyl crisis in America. Philadelphia’s Kensington Avenue has become notorious in recent years due to a wave of videos that have circulated which show the devastating impact that these drugs have had on our society. The desperation and appalling conditions are only outdone by the sadness that is visibly present in the lost souls that have found themselves there. If you feel like being depressed, these videos are easy to find.
If you do watch footage from Kensington, you may notice something interesting. When users take the drug they will almost immediately begin to nod off in a drug induced stupor. They often do this in whatever spot they happen to be occupying as the drug hits them. It's common in these videos to see a person that is clearly unconscious, yet somehow remaining on their feet, often in odd and contorted postures.
Why do I bring this up? Because I think it can tell us something important about ourselves.
As you might expect, the majority of these people are very unhealthy. This is due to not only the drugs themselves, but also malnutrition, a lack of hygiene, exposure to the elements and various diseases spread through the sharing of paraphernalia and other means. In short, these people are a wreck, now finding themselves comatose and struggling to stand on a public sidewalk. Swaying, bending, leaning, but they haven’t fallen. Something keeps them on their feet.
I’m sure a medical professional or maybe an addict could explain the mechanism behind this. Does the drug not affect their equilibrium as heavily as the rest of their senses? Maybe the subconscious is still fighting to hang on and maintain a normal posture? Some combination may be likely but I think that regardless of any specific reason, what this symbolizes is important.
Our bodies want to remain upright. Regardless of our circumstances, our instinct is to keep our feet beneath us. Even under the influence of powerful narcotics, some primal force within this person still furiously grips the yoke and screams out to pull up before the crash.
We can take that realization in a few ways. In one sense, it is encouraging. Maybe we are stronger at some subconscious level than we give ourselves credit for. It takes a lot to truly knock us down. Even these people, who have deteriorated into hollow shells of their former selves, still possess some kind of inner resolve which keeps them on their feet.
It seems likely that this resolve is innate. If so, it could be harnessed by all of us, not just those in the grips of such addictions. It may also be true that these same behaviors are already detectable in our own lives, only less visibly so.
A common example of this is obesity. How many people do you see in your daily life that are clearly struggling with a weight problem, often becoming exhausted by even simple physical tasks? Most manage to push through that discomfort and carry on, ignoring the problem. In many cases those people have been living in that condition for so long that this begins to feel normal to them. They usually don’t realize how grave their situation has become. The addicts on the sidewalk may also not be aware of how out of control things have gotten. Change can slip past us when spread out over time, and we often don't notice things when they happen subtly enough.
I’m not suggesting that the obese or drug addicted members of our society are totally oblivious to the fact that there is a problem. They surely know that all is not well or ideal. But our minds have a way of blunting hurtful truths about ourselves. It can be difficult to experience true awareness of a problem in the way an outsider might be able to see it.
This extends to almost any unhealthy habit.
How would screen addicts react to their own daily behavior if made to view it from an outside perspective?
Really think about being made to just watch footage of yourself scrolling.
Not moving.
Face illuminated by the screen.
Head tilted down into your chest.
Eyes glazed over.
For hours.
Would you be comfortable or happy watching that? Would it seem normal? Would you begin to feel ashamed or disgusted with yourself? I would.
Surroundings aside, how different would that scene really appear when compared to the fentanyl addict, frozen in place, asleep on their feet?
Awareness of how we truly appear and are perceived by the world around us is difficult to attain. How would we be seen if viewed through an unbiased and objective lens? Imagine yourself in a Truman Show-like scenario. What impressions do you think would be formed about you if you were being unknowingly watched at all times? For most of us, the prospect isn't flattering. If viewed by an unbiased outsider, I think I would appear to have more in common with the addict on the sidewalk than I am happy to admit.
While that may sound pessimistic, I view this as a mixed blessing. Like the addicts in Philadelphia, our bodies and minds want to remain upright. They will fight to do so against a great deal of the pushback and punishment we inflict on them. If we cultivate a better awareness of ourselves, we can begin to see that our bodies and minds are already primed to row in the right direction. That we can work with that momentum, instead of fighting it, to move toward a better reality.
Conversely, we can use this knowledge for bad purposes. We can, for a while, get away with putting undue pressure on that system, knowing it will fight to stay upright. We can eat poorly, do drugs, mentally check out or indulge in any number of harmful behaviors. We can do all of that without immediate catastrophe because of this built in mechanism that provides the resistance needed to keep us on the rails.
Until it can’t.
That inner resistance will give out at some point. When it does, it will leave us either dead or in the living hell of a diminished and deteriorated life. To make matters worse, we will know it is entirely our own fault. This should be something we all avoid.
Our bodies and minds are incredible gifts. They will do everything they can to keep us upright when we falter. We need to become better at recognizing when we are being reckless with those gifts. Finding ways to maintain a better picture of ourselves, as we actually are, will be the key to not squandering what's been given to us.
There are a bunch of practices human cultures have developed over our evolutionary history to cultivate just the sort of self-awareness you’re describing.
The following is not mine, I read it somewhere on Substack: tradition is a solution set for problems society no longer remembers. Given that many cultures have evolved mechanisms for finding the middle ground between asceticism and hedonism, I’d guess that, broadly speaking, the stupor is not new, and that there’s nothing new we need discover to address the stupor.
"Imagine yourself in a Truman Show-like scenario. What impressions do you think would be formed about you if you were being unknowingly watched at all times?"
I always have felt this, that is what the fear of a cruel God does to a child. On one hand its terrifying, on the other it keeps that child straight. But it doesn't necessarily last. That discipline went awol, Nietzsche said God died about 150 years ago which corresponds with humanities final, deadly fall in to the sewer.
The interesting thing is, even as an extremely non-religious person, one religion... Sufism I think.. speaks about two birds in a tree. One eats the fruit and enjoys it, (this would be like the guy in Matrix who loves his steak) and the other bird looks on, enjoying the steak/fruit-eating bird's experience vicariously.
These birds represent states of consciousness. When one realises their true Self is located at a different place, ie. a non-localised body with a higher degree of consciousness beyond the physical, then one is approaching metaphysic consciousness. The trick to reality is to become the tree (represented by the vagus nerve, or the biblical 'burning bush') and have both forms interacting simultaneously.